The Wedding

Reposted from mywedding.com

Wow. We are finally home. What an absolutely epic month this has been.

We are both feeling a cocktail of emotions now that we have the time to relax and think about all that has happened. Rhuta says that she is at once relieved and anxious. I keep thinking that there is something that I've forgotten to do, and I just can't recall what exactly it is. Weddingphobia has become a habit.

Being back in Arizona was surreal. We both commented on how it felt like we had been away for ages, when in fact it has only been three months. As I write this, I realize how difficult it is to quantify the feeling. The weather, however was not difficult to grasp-freaking spectacular. The entire week we spent before the wedding was beautiful with temperatures in the 70's and not a chance of rain.

I spent the weekend before with my good friends, my brothers, in a place called "Paradise Forks," one of the more stunning canyons in Arizona. We camped, drank too much, and climbed too little. It felt somehow disrespectful to be in such a place and not give it 100% of your effort, but we did enjoy the sunshine on our bodies, the stillness of the rocks, and for me, the ability to just BE in that place again.

I had heard and read of the "wave" that sweeps the engaged to the alter the week of the wedding. It is a very real thing. There are things to do, and people to see up until your wedding day. And it all happens quickly. I knew that I was not to see Rhuta on the day of, but had no idea that the separation would begin much sooner. I think we spent our hours together the few remaining days before mainly asleep, dog-tired from fretting over details.

Juniper Well Ranch was the perfect spot for our friends and family to gather. We were given the gift of a free night in the Adobe from Linda Bonham, our hostess there, so we were able to really enjoy the calm before the storm as it were. That cabin was our favorite from the start. What a great example of what can be done with local materials. The adobe blocks kept the structure cool during the day and suprisingly warm at night. We both saw the potential for temporary life in a similarly-sized building on a piece of property here in Colorado. We recognize the need to start small here. I hope that our pictures will do the Ranch justice. Both evenings on the patio were beautiful. The space really comes alive at night with a fire raging and the lights shining in the trees. I hope that all of our guests felt far more comfortable there than I did. Friday night was not without it's wedding-eve jitters.

Surprisingly, the day of our wedding was quiet for me. Rhuta was away dealing with her hair and her dress. I had a few hours to be alone and think about being married and what that might mean. Kids? Life insurance? A mortgage? These are the ways I tortured myself in the few hours that remained. I showered. I played guitar. I waited. It was not until about two o'clock that the rest of the guys showed up at the house. We stood around and joked nervously (at least I did) while Hayes struggled to pin on our boutonnieres. Then, before I knew it, it was time to begin my march to the alter.

There was a little milling about to be done and some more nervous joking, but there wasn't much left of my bachelorhood before it was time to stand up and wait for Rhuta. I took my place in front of the guests, trying hard not to feel weird. I reminded myself that I was there only to get one thing done. The rest was just gravy. A big thank you must go out now to our Reverend, Newton Bunce, for being the calm and stable influence that he was for both of us before and during the wedding. I don't know if anyone noticed how efficiently he guided us into marriage. Certainly what everyone will have noticed was his excellent and moving service, as well as his powerful delivery. What a wonderful voice to usher us into our lives together.

The brides' maids and grooms' men began their march down the aisle as a hush fell over the seated guests. It was on now! The meatball! This is actually what was going through my head at that moment. It would be minutes at best until I had to face Rhuta-the moment I knew would be the most challenging. Keep it together, man. I knew she would look beautiful and damn if she didn't! What a dress... I don't know what other grooms say to themselves as their services progress. I would imagine that it's all pretty much the same. "We're doing this, we're doing this, oh my God, we're really doing this..." I was thinking that too. However, my version was something like, "We're doing this, we're really doing this, don't you freakin' cry man, oh God don't look at Mom, don't look at Mom, whoa! she is really upset, why did you look at her? Okay, eyes straight ahead..." But straight ahead of me was my bride and if I thought too hard about what we were doing and how much she meant to me, that would be it-bawling baby at the alter. So honestly, I just zoned out on Rhuta's face. She looked fantastic in this perfect ray of light shining right into her eyes (I hope she could see). I'm glad that I had a chance to read our service several times before the ceremony. Because I didn't hear any of it the day of. I just stood there in a daze and did what I was told.

If I could do anything differently, I think it would have been this: rethinking the boxes we put the rings into for our ring bearer, Asher. Each was placed in a silk-covered box that reminded me a little of coin purse (the type you squeeze to open), and then both of these were placed in a silk bag with a drawstring closure. It was not our intention for Asher to have any trouble opening this set-up, but for him, it was like breaking into Fort Knox. Eventually, with help form Kurt, he got into the bag, but not without some struggle. I guess no wedding goes off completely without a hitch, but I definitely wondered for a moment if we were going to have the exchange of rings as part of the ceremony.

After the rings were on our fingers, it felt as if things started moving faster and faster, and before you knew it we were kissing and being announced as a married couple. Then the serious weeping got into full swing. Everyone was wiping their eyes and hugging and kissing. I wasn't even able to see everyone exit down the aisle. And this is the truth: I have never seen my father looking so upset. I know he was happy for me, but I felt as though I had somehow hurt him. It was horrible and beautiful all at once. The best moment, the moment that I will remember for the rest of my life was of him completely breaking down as he hugged my wife for the first time. I knew then that she is as much a part of his family now as I am.

Then of course, after a short delay as the photographer had her way with all of us, the party got into gear. What a luxury to have your reception 50 feet away from the alter. A big thank you to Miguel and Deb for providing quite a feast for us all. You come highly recommended for a reason. I know that everyone enjoyed the food as much as we did.

I must also thank my favorite high-school friend, Chris Casey, for making sense of the very ragged slideshow that I couldn't get to work the night before. It was so important to me to be able to show those friends and relatives that didn't know Rhuta what her life was like before she met me, and to give her relatives that chance to know me as well. In many ways I felt that this would be a great way to honor the people who have had a hand in making us who we are, as well as the places and landscapes that have been so important to us both.

Despite the fact that Rhuta began to feel the effects of the flu after dinner, and had to turn in early, we called the day a success. Weeks and months of planning paid off in a fantastic good time. May we both never have to do it ever again!